Have you ever watched someone who constantly boasts about their success finally make a mistake—and felt a tiny sense of satisfaction?
Maybe a colleague who always takes credit misses an important deadline.
Maybe a social-media influencer who appears to have a perfect life experiences a very public setback.
Maybe someone who has been competing with you gets something wrong, and for just a moment, you feel… relieved.
Then comes the uncomfortable thought:
“Why am I enjoying this?”
You’re not necessarily a bad person.
Psychologists have a word for this surprisingly common human reaction: schadenfreude—the experience of feeling pleasure, amusement, or satisfaction when someone else experiences misfortune.
But why does the human brain sometimes react this way?
And what does that reaction reveal about our own insecurities, comparisons, ambitions, and sense of fairness?
😶 The Feeling We Don’t Usually Admit
Most people don’t openly say:
“I’m happy that person failed.”
Instead, it may appear in subtler forms.
You see someone fail and think:
“Well… maybe they’re not so perfect after all.”
You hear that a highly successful person made a major mistake and feel unexpectedly reassured.
Or you notice someone who constantly shows off receiving criticism online and quietly think:
“They had it coming.”
You may never say any of this aloud.
But the feeling can still be there.
And that’s what makes schadenfreude so interesting.
It reveals a part of human psychology that we don’t always like to acknowledge.
🧠 What Exactly Is Schadenfreude?
The word schadenfreude comes from German:
- Schaden = harm or misfortune
- Freude = joy
Put together, it roughly means joy at another person’s misfortune.
The feeling isn’t necessarily about wanting someone to suffer.
That’s an important distinction.
You might not want a person to experience serious harm. But when someone you perceive as arrogant, unfair, overly competitive, or undeservedly successful makes a relatively harmless mistake, you may experience a brief feeling of satisfaction.
The emotion can be uncomfortable precisely because it conflicts with another part of us—the part that knows we are supposed to empathize with others.
👀 Why Do We Compare Ourselves With Other People?
One major reason may be social comparison.
Human beings naturally compare themselves with others.
We compare:
- salaries
- careers
- relationships
- appearance
- possessions
- intelligence
- popularity
- achievements
- lifestyles
Social media has made this comparison almost impossible to escape.
Every day, you can see someone’s new house, promotion, vacation, wedding, business success, fitness transformation, or seemingly perfect family life.
But here’s the problem:
We usually compare our behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.
When someone who appears to be far ahead of us suddenly fails, the comparison gap temporarily becomes smaller.
And that can feel surprisingly comforting.
📱 Social Media May Make It Even Stronger
Imagine scrolling through Instagram or LinkedIn.
One person has just been promoted.
Another has launched a successful company.
Someone else is traveling around the world.
Another person is celebrating a major financial milestone.
After seeing enough of these posts, you may begin to feel like everyone else is moving forward while you’re standing still.
Then suddenly, one of those seemingly perfect people makes a very public mistake.
You may experience a strange emotional reaction:
“So their life isn’t perfect either.”
That moment can temporarily restore your sense of balance.
It isn’t necessarily about wanting them to fail.
Sometimes, it’s about wanting to feel less behind.
⚖️ Sometimes It Feels Like Justice
Another powerful trigger is our sense of fairness.
Suppose someone cheats, lies, manipulates others, or treats people badly—and eventually faces consequences.
Your reaction may not feel like cruelty.
It may feel like justice.
You might think:
“They finally got what they deserved.”
This is sometimes called justice-based schadenfreude.
The pleasure doesn’t necessarily come from suffering itself.
Instead, it comes from seeing what appears to be an imbalance corrected.
But there’s an important warning here:
Our perception of fairness isn’t always accurate.
We rarely know the entire story behind another person’s success or failure.
🏆 The More Competitive We Feel, the Stronger It Can Become
Imagine two employees competing for the same promotion.
Both want the position.
One gets it.
The other doesn’t.
Months later, the promoted employee makes a serious mistake.
The person who lost the promotion might feel a little satisfaction.
Why?
Because the failure changes the comparison.
For a brief moment, the person who once appeared to be ahead no longer seems so far ahead.
Competition can make another person’s failure feel personally meaningful—even when it has nothing to do with us.
😬 Envy Can Hide Behind a Smile
Envy is another important piece of the puzzle.
When someone has something we strongly want, their success can make us uncomfortable.
We might envy their:
- money
- appearance
- relationships
- career
- confidence
- popularity
- opportunities
- achievements
But admitting envy isn’t always easy.
So when that person experiences a setback, the emotional pressure may briefly disappear.
Instead of thinking:
“I wish I had what they have.”
We suddenly feel:
“Maybe they’re not that far ahead of me after all.”
That temporary relief can feel good.
🎭 Why We May Enjoy the Failure of Arrogant People More
Have you ever noticed that the reaction changes depending on who fails?
If a humble person makes an innocent mistake, you may immediately feel sympathy.
But if an arrogant person makes the same mistake, your reaction may be very different.
That’s because our emotional response isn’t determined only by the event.
It also depends on how we perceive the person involved.
Someone who constantly boasts about being smarter, richer, more successful, or more important may create resentment.
When that person’s image suddenly cracks, the failure can feel satisfying.
The thought may be:
“Maybe you’re not as perfect as you think.”
🤯 The Strange Connection Between Failure and Relief
Here’s something fascinating:
Sometimes another person’s failure makes us feel better about our own lives.
Suppose you’ve been worrying that you’re falling behind professionally.
Then you discover that someone you considered much more successful has also experienced career setbacks.
Your circumstances haven’t changed.
Your salary hasn’t changed.
Your job hasn’t changed.
Yet you suddenly feel slightly better.
Why?
Because our perception of ourselves is often relative.
Someone else’s setback can temporarily change the reference point we use to evaluate our own situation.
🧩 But Is Schadenfreude Always Bad?
Not necessarily.
Having a fleeting emotional reaction doesn’t automatically make you cruel.
Human emotions often appear before conscious reasoning has a chance to intervene.
The important question is:
What do you do with the feeling?
There is a huge difference between:
“I felt a tiny sense of satisfaction when they failed.”
and
“I want them to suffer, and I’m going to make their situation worse.”
The first is an emotional reaction.
The second involves a deliberate choice.
Recognizing an uncomfortable emotion can actually help you understand yourself better.
🪞 What Your Reaction Might Be Telling You
The next time you feel secretly pleased about someone’s failure, pause for a moment.
Ask yourself:
“What exactly am I enjoying?”
Is it their suffering?
Or is it something else?
Maybe you feel:
- less insecure
- less competitive
- less envious
- vindicated
- relieved
- more equal
- less intimidated
That distinction matters.
Because sometimes another person’s failure isn’t making us happy.
It’s making us feel better about ourselves.
🔍 Try This Simple Self-Check
The next time you notice this emotion, ask yourself three questions:
1. Would I feel the same if this happened to a close friend?
If not, your reaction may be influenced by competition or comparison.
2. Am I happy that they suffered—or relieved that I don’t feel inferior anymore?
Those are very different emotions.
3. Would I want this person to recover?
Your answer can reveal whether the feeling is a fleeting emotional response or something deeper.
❤️ The Healthier Response: Turn Comparison Into Curiosity
You don’t have to pretend that uncomfortable emotions don’t exist.
Instead, you can use them as information.
If someone else’s success makes you jealous, ask:
“What exactly do they have that I want?”
If their failure makes you feel relieved, ask:
“Why did their success make me feel threatened?”
If their setback makes you feel vindicated, ask:
“What did I believe they deserved?”
These questions shift the focus away from the other person and back toward yourself.
And that can be surprisingly useful.
🌱 Your Real Competition May Not Be Other People
Constant comparison can turn life into an invisible competition.
Someone gets promoted.
You feel behind.
Someone buys a bigger house.
You feel behind.
Someone gets married.
You feel behind.
Someone starts a successful business.
You feel behind.
Someone fails.
You feel better.
And suddenly, your emotional state depends on what happens to everyone around you.
That’s exhausting.
A healthier approach is to measure progress against your own previous version.
Ask:
Am I learning?
Am I improving?
Am I building something meaningful?
Am I becoming better at handling setbacks?
Those questions are much more within your control.
🧠 The Most Interesting Part: Everyone Has Setbacks
The person you’re secretly comparing yourself with may also be comparing themselves with someone else.
The successful entrepreneur may envy another entrepreneur.
The attractive person may feel insecure about their appearance.
The wealthy person may worry about losing everything.
The confident colleague may secretly fear failure.
The person whose life looks perfect online may be struggling with problems you’ll never see.
That’s one reason comparison can be so misleading.
You are comparing your complete life with fragments of someone else’s.
💬 What Happens When We Stop Hiding the Emotion?
You don’t need to celebrate someone else’s failure.
You also don’t need to shame yourself for experiencing a brief uncomfortable emotion.
Instead, recognize it.
Name it.
Understand it.
Then decide how you want to behave.
You might think:
“I noticed that their failure made me feel good. Maybe I was comparing myself with them more than I realized.”
That simple observation can turn an uncomfortable emotion into self-awareness.
🏁 Final Takeaway
Why do we sometimes secretly enjoy other people’s failures?
Because humans are complicated.
Comparison, envy, competition, fairness, insecurity, and the desire to feel good about ourselves can all influence how we react when someone else falls short.
Feeling a brief spark of schadenfreude doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
But it can provide a fascinating glimpse into your own emotional world.
So the next time you catch yourself thinking:
“I probably shouldn’t enjoy this… but I kind of do.”
Don’t immediately judge yourself.
Instead, ask:
“What is this feeling trying to tell me about myself?”
Because sometimes, another person’s failure isn’t really the interesting part.
The interesting part is why their failure made you feel better.
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